Holiday Generosity: A Beautiful Story At Christmas Time

Yesterday I wrote about the domino effect of thoughts that led me to wonder what I might do if I won the MO lottery jackpot, which was over $100 million.  What I left out was the fact that I saw this jackpot on a billboard as I drove to a discount grocery store, where I witnessed a situation that has sadly become commonplace.

I went mainly for oranges, but the way the store is designed, you have to go through each aisle in order to get to anything.  As I passed the non-food section, I saw two men quietly but intensely discussing a possible purchase, and from their tone as well as their faded, dirty clothes and their worn out boots and jackets, I could tell that if the money was available, the purchase would simply be a done deal.  It wasn't. 

Not five feet from them stood a boy of around 8 years old.  While they discussed, the boy stared at a boxed toy set that couldn’t have been more than $6.  I knew he wouldn’t go home with it.  I felt so bad for him.  He wasn’t throwing a tantrum, or whining for it, he was just fixated on it, his body rigid with the tension of wanting it yet keeping himself from reaching for it.  A two year old blond boy less than two years old kept reaching from his seat in the cart, saying the boy's name and reaching for him, but not fussing or crying.  That told me the older boy was kind to the little one, not mean or the little one wouldn't reach for him without fear.

If I could have, I would have bought the toy for him and left it at the cashier’s register with a description of the boy, they were the only kids in the store.  As it is, my ex-husband lost his job and then I lost mine.  I can’t even get my own kids anything this year.  They’ll get plenty from my family, so it’s not like they will go without, but this little guy, I wasn’t so sure.  He was clean and looked healthy, well-fed, neither fat nor too lean.  It was obvious that his father took the best care of him he could.  It just killed me to look around at situations like this and know that half of American households are currently living in poverty, for no reason anyone can think of. 

The antidote to this toxic topic for me has been the wonderful stories like the Kmart layaway payoffs, where generous but anonymous persons went into Kmart stores around the country and asked the layaway clerks if there were any accounts that were about to be lost due to late payments, especially those with toys or clothing for little kids.  People in line to pay were surprised by a total stranger behind them in line who said, “I’ve got this.”  Out of nowhere, this lovely and generous gesture has been extended to families in need.  I find this such a beautiful thing, it gives me hope about our future as a country.

One such story did not make the news, but since he is a friend of mine, I got to hear it.  I asked if I could tell this story here, and was given permission to repeat it.

My friend Alan Shelton lives in Oceanside, CA, just a few blocks from the beach.  Oceanside is becoming “gentrified”, but it still has its share of people living on the streets and others who work hard but who have no extras.

Every day Alan walks his two dogs through the transit station in Oceanside where a hot dog stand owned by Mike, The Hot Dog Guy (sorry, I don’t know Mike’s last name, just his occupation) is located.  They always exchange “hello’s” as Alan and the dogs pass by. 

A couple of days ago, this exchange took place:

“How much is it for a hot dog?” asked Alan.

Mike answered, “You can get a hot dog, a drink, and chips for four bucks.” 

Alan pulled a one-hundred dollar bill out of his pocket and handed it to Mike, saying, “Well here’s enough for 25 hot dog combos.  Hand ‘em out to whoever you think needs them.”

Mike went home that night and sat in his chair, the hundred dollar bill in his pocket, and waited for his girlfriend to finish telling him the highlights of her day.

When she stopped, she asked him, “What about your day?  Anything good or special happen?”

He pulled out the hundred dollar bill and said, “Wait until you hear this.”

He told her of Alan’s gift, and then of the first two receivers. 

The first, he said, was a young man who comes up from Mexico every year around this time to visit his family.  Mike said he always wonders how this guy manages since he lost both arms to a farm machinery accident when he was a child.  When he arrives, he likes to get a hot dog and then spends two dollars on the train ride to his family’s house.  This year, however, he couldn’t afford either the hot dog or the train ride.  The young man was overjoyed when Mike said something to the effect of “Have I got a deal for you.”  Mike was able not only to give the young man the hot dog combo, but also the two dollars for the train ride to get the rest of the way to see his family.  The young armless man from Mexico expressed his gratitude with a big smile, and caught the next train to his reunion.  I did not ask how he managed a hot dog combo with no arms, but I imagine he’s had a lifetime to figure these things out. 

The second recipient that first day was a man who lived in a nearby group home.  This guy loves Mike’s hot dogs, but it takes him an average of three weeks of scrimping and saving nickels, pennies, and dimes in order to come up with enough cheese to buy one of Mike’s dogs.  On this day when the now sober man walked past Mike’s stand to say “Hi”, Mike stopped him.

“Santa has a surprise for you.”  And he gave him one of the 25 hot dog combos.  The man was moved to tears when Mike told him that a beneficiary had provided funds enough for a few people in the neighborhood to get a hot dog, chips, and a drink.  It may seem like a very small or silly thing to you and me, but when you think about it, it is exactly as Alan said to me the week before when a similar situation arose for someone else.  Frugality fatigue is what we call it now, but this is how he explained it:

“It’s those little indulgences that we buy for ourselves that that make a desperate life more palatable.” 

What was nice about it was he got right to the heart of the psychology of the person without judging them to be irresponsible or bad.  That is something I can understand and relate to, small comforts in the face of big difficulties.

These hot dogs were a small gift in the grand scheme of things.  Alan points out that he by himself cannot eliminate poverty.  What his gesture did do, however, was very impactful in his immediate sphere of influence.  He made 25 people's day.

Most people, like Alan, are overwhelmed in the face of the staggering statistic of 50% of American households living in poverty.  We don’t know where to begin.  How do we fix what’s broken?  I don’t think we can right away, it’s too deep and too wide, this gap between rich and poor. 

 In the short term, all we can do is look around at what we have that we don’t need, whether that is money, household goods, extra food, blankets, clothing, toys, winter coats, whatever, and then look around to see who would most benefit from the receipt of these items. 

Those people that I know who can help someone else this Christmas are looking for a family to adopt in order to help one entire household thoroughly, rather than diffusely helping many by donating to an organization.  They scale the problem and the solution down to a manageable size.  So many people need help these days just to keep the lights and heat on and food on the table.  A little truly does go a long way right now. 

I hope you get what you need and give what you can.

Best wishes,

India Rivers